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Joke of the Day

"A teacher walks into a bar Guy: can I buy you a drink? Teacher: I don't know, CAN you?"

"What's the difference between Indiana and Reddit? In Reddit, you get served no matter who you are."

"""Girls love illegible texts at 3:00am. Trust me."" -Alcohol"

"What do you call a cow with no front legs? Lean Beef"

"Absinthe For when you'd love to wake up in the morning...naked on a raft in your neighbour's pool, but lack the motivation"

"Did you hear Viagra now comes in a nasal spray? It's for dickheads!"

"My thoughts today are like underwear, I don't have any clean ones."

"A Mexican singer has removed some of her ribs so she can look more like Shakira. I'm going to remove my cock so I can look more like Justin Bieber."

"A costumer just said to me that my daughter and I look like twins. And I was like, ""Well, we were separated at birth."""

"My wife didn't believe me when I told her I'd built a car out of spaghetti, penne and tortellini... ......You should've seen the look on her face as I drove pasta."