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Joke of the Day
"To the woman who keeps pounding and screaming at my door all night: I'm not letting you go..."
Next Joke
"Did you hear about the depressed horse? He told a tale of whoa!"
"Why do waitresses hate mohels? Because they never leave a tip."
"Being sick sucks. I've laid in bed for days, ate nothing, lost 4 pounds, didn't go to work and slept nonstop. Wait. Being sick is AWESOME!"
"What's the difference between an American student and an English student ? About 3000 miles !"
"Using my son's raincoat as a hat so my hair doesn't get messed up. He's doing the cutest little shivers!"
"""I just died in your arms"" sounds much more romantic than ""You're holding a dead body."""
"*interrupts parent & child on bus* Actually thats not true, Wolverine has died many times *they get up* Your mother cant shelter you forever"
"I accidentally swallowed a turntable needle. Good thing nothing major happened good thing nothing major happened good thing nothing major happened good thing nothing major happened"
"If vampires have no reflection, how come they have such neat hair?"