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Joke of the Day

"I sing like Sinatra and have the brain of Einstein. I think that's why girls call me Frankenstein."

"Cop- Do you know why I pulled you over? Me- Because I fucked your mom? Cop- Get out of the car! Me- Wait! Don't I get another guess?"

"If you're going to a wedding this weekend and you see a random stranger dancing his nut off on the dance floor, I'm sorry, I lost a bet."

"What's the difference between a gun and amnesia? Oh shoot, I forgot..."

"I'll tell you what I know about dwarfs! Very Little Courtesy of Jimmy Carr"

"My friend Jerry was going to be a pilot... but that career never took off."

"What should you never ask at a gay bar? Can I push your stool in?"

"The Feds say that marijuana has no accepted medical use, overlooking how it could help 20 million unemployed Americans not give a shit."

"Where does an octopus go to buy shoes? Inke"

"Why shouldn't you eat meat from pot smoking cows? Because the steaks are too high."