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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a loonie answering questions on reddit? DollarAMA. *Only Canadians will get it, sorry."

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"I bought a book about addiction I've read it 50 times and it still hasn't helped."
"A duck walks into a CVS... The duck walks up to the counter and says, ""I'd like to buy some chapstick."" The clerk says, ""Will that be cash or charge?"" The duck says, ""I'll just put it on my bill."""
"Where does a king keep his armies?? In his sleevies"
"Cheating on a good woman is like eating out of the trash instead going out for steak."
"Explaining puns to kleptomaniacs is hard because they often take things, literally."
"What's something that some people don't get about jokes with sexual innuendo? That it's a fucking joke."
"Dear lord, I thank you for these noodles I am about to eat. Ramen."
"Q: Why wasn't there any food after the monster party? A: Because everyone was a goblin."
"My family tree is a Cactus........ Full of pricks ! :/"