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Joke of the Day
"Explaining puns to kleptomaniacs is hard because they often take things, literally."
Next Joke
"""Could you take a couple steps back. I have a nut allergy."""
"""BEST WEEKEND EVER!"" ~ The same stupid bitch on Facebook, at least twice a month..."
"BoyFriend & GirlFriend BoyFriend : Hey.! Please give me a kiss.. GirlFriend : No, Not before marriage.. BoyFriend : Don't Worry Darling, I am already married.."
"Eat Chipotle with your hands? Fine. Eat stuff that falls out of it with your hands? Get stared at you like you smeared shit on someone's kid"
"This Halloween I'm going to dress up like Bernie Sanders... and go around the bar drinking 90% of everyone elses beer..."
"What does a Mexican duck say? GUACK"
"Such double standards. My wife sleeps with like 10 pillows and I don't get mad but when... I pull out my dakimakura she threatens with divorce."
"[M] What's the hardest part of owning a cat? Telling your parents you're gay."
"Life is a suicide mission."