149292

Joke of the Day

"Way back when, I thought technology would look more like flying cars and less like me yelling ""The laptop's not a touch screen,"" at my kids."

"According to my autocorrect, i'm wearing edible pantries"

"Friends are like snowflakes. If you pee on them they disappear."

"Dear parents with unattended children they will be given 4 red bulls and a kazoo"

"there is no way you can prove that babies grow and are not instead replaced overnight with entirely new but slightly larger babies"

"The gas station air pump costs a dollar because air doesn't grow on trees."

"What's 1+1? 2"

"What position makes the ugliest children? Ask your parents"

"Ever heard of the comedian who died gasping for air after his routine? He joked to death."

"What's the difference between a fox and a dog? About 7 beers."