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Joke of the Day

"Way back when, I thought technology would look more like flying cars and less like me yelling ""The laptop's not a touch screen,"" at my kids."

"You have to chose between your SO and one million dollars. What is the first thing you would buy?"

"What's the best part about having a deaf child? You can have sex as loudly as you want."

"I invented a new word! React!"

"I don't see why everyone resents the Headless Horseman... All he wanted was head."

"How did the rice crispy propose to the cornflake? It Snapped, Crackled and Popped the question."

"Sperm is the best glue Have you ever seen a human being falling apart?"

"Why was the skunk angry? He was incensed!"

"why isn't thunder called soundning"

"*Social justice ppl arrive at nintendo headquarters in japan* ""Game... BOY?"" *merciless, graphic slaughter of nintendo employees ensues*"