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Joke of the Day

"why did Bob quit working at the toilet paper factory? Because he was tired of working with assholes all day"

"is it crazy how saying sentences backwards . . . . . .create backwards sentences saying how crazy it is?"

"There are three types of people in the world Those who can count, and those who can't"

"What do you call a black man who flies a plane? The pilot. ^^^^^You ^^^^^racist ^^^^^fuck."

"35% of all hospital deaths are caused by the attending physician failing to yell ""Don't you die on me!"" at the right moment."

"why thank you, sir! I was totally unaware of my big titties. How kind of you to risk your safety by yelling it out of the car window."

"13yo Jesus: You're not my real dad! I HATE YOU! Joseph: One of these days boy, I'll [distant thunder] I'll do nothing. Absolutely nothing."

"If this country cared for its mentally ill they wouldn't be able to join Neighborhood Watch Teams or enter politics."

"What is evil and ugly and goes at 125 mph? A witch in a high speed train."

"I used to go to Weight Watchers to meet women. There were tons of girls there, just not very many."