144143

Joke of the Day

"*Stands at produce aisle *Grabs GIANT zucchini *Holds it high in the air *Yells: Is THIS cucumber big enough for you, honey?!?!?!"

"So Jared Fogle was actually reported to have been spotted at a local Macy's. He heard Boys pant were half off."

"Golfer: ""That can't be my ball caddy. It looks far too old."" Caddy: ""It's a long time since we started sir."""

"My penis is nicknamed ""The Titanic""... ""Because it's so big?"" ""No,because it is a tragedy."""

"If two vegans have an argument... is it still considered beef?"

"Where does a king keep his armies?? In his sleevies"

"I wish falling in love had traffic lights, so that I would know if I should: Go for it, slow down, or just stop."

"The best part of waking up is when you say ""fuck it"" and go back to sleep."

"Highlighter pens are the future... Mark my words"

"People always tell me to be the change that I want to see in the world, but I can't seem to get any whiter."