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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a communist sniper? A Marxman"

"Today was so terrible, I thought Steven Seagal was in it."

"You'd think strip poker would be more fun but Grandpa is horrible at cards."

"A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, ""Why the long face, Mr. Horse?"" The horse does not respond because he is a fucking horse."

"I always carry a picture of my wife and kids in my wallet. It reminds me of why there is no fucking money in there."

"I asked my co-worker if she liked Adele.. Co-worker: No, I haven't listened to any of her music actually. Me: Oh! Then you must be rolling in the deep!"

"A dyslexic guy walks into a bra One of my favs"

"What do you call a Russian sovereign with dwarfism and a taste for both men and women? A little bizar"

"What does Santa call the elf police? The Po Po Po."

"LPT: If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you."