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Joke of the Day
"Today was so terrible, I thought Steven Seagal was in it."
Next Joke
"[ first date ] Me. Do you take drugs? Him. I never touch them. Me. Perfect. Can I have a urine sample?"
"Why can't two elephants go swimming? -They only have one pair of trunks."
"My wife threw a doughnut at my head. Now I have a glazy eye."
"Why couldn't the guy with insomnia have an affair with anyone's wife? Because he couldn't sleep with anyone."
"What is a parrot? A wordy birdy!"
"[finally rich enough to go to a tailor] ""How can I help you sir?"" One clothes please!"
"All women have an hour glass figure - it's just that they all tote around different amounts of sand."
"All those years studying karate saved my life one night, when a man with a gun jumped out of nowhere and demanded I count to 10 in Japanese."
"Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you are donating blood."