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Joke of the Day

"What do you do with a zombie chef? Skillet"

"I would have won the Junior Olympics too... ..if it weren't for you medalling kids."

"LPT: If you crash into a parked car and don't have a paper and pen.. simply use a key to scratch your insurance details on to the bonnet."

"If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner it's usually about 90 degrees."

"Where does the general keep his armies? In his sleevies."

"Two Robins were lying in the sun when a cat ran up and gobbled them up.. ..It licked its lips and said 'I love basking robins'"

"Why was the egg laughing when it fell off the table? Because it cracked itself up."

"When I go out to eat I wear a shirt w/ a picture of me shirtless on it, because I hate rules but I like service."

"What do you call a communist pirate? Lutin."

"To avoid being raped when I am in jail... I stick a tube of toothpaste up my ass for complete cavity protection."