14392

Joke of the Day

"When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother what will I be. Will I be pretty, will I be rich? Here's what she said to me: GO TO SLEEP."

"I was homeless for 10 years and decided to apply for a position to hold a company's sign on the sidewalk... The company told me that they were sorry but I was overqualified."

"On this new /j thing im really back and forth on it"

"The way you feel when your phone dies is exactly how Cinderella felt at midnight."

"Who's driving? A mexican and black guy are in a car. Who's driving? Answer: The police officer"

"How do I tell a guy that I'm only interested in him because I'd like to take selfies with his puppy?"

"A job interview is like a first date. You dress up, pretend to be someone else and spend the time wondering if you're going to get screwed."

"The past, the present and the future walk into a bar... ...Then things got tense."

"What's the hardest part of running over a baby? My dick."

"Autocorrect just changed faux pas to faux pasta and this gluten war has gotten out of hand."