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Joke of the Day

"How do I tell a guy that I'm only interested in him because I'd like to take selfies with his puppy?"

"Don't forget to stop and Instagram the roses."

"What is the difference between a laddie and a lady? One has a d where the other doesn't."

"How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Apparently not 8 because my basement is still dark."

"Why don't you ever watch old people have sex? You ever spread open a grilled cheese?"

"I forgot to put on deodorant today but not to worry, if this urinal cake is good enough for the bathroom then it's good enough for me."

"What do you get when you cross an insomniac, dyslexic, and agnostic? Someone who stays up wondering if there is a dog."

"What goes in dry and hard, but comes out, wet and soft? Chewing gum"

"Apparently everyone was too high in the 70's when Grease came out to notice that every ""student"" at Rydell High looked like they were 35"

"The only sex a priest got on Friday... Was nun!"