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Joke of the Day

"I thought it was funny... I asked a guy with Tourette's what made him tic... He didn't find the humor."

"A found a dessert trying to sell me military secrets in my bed last night. It was an under covers pie."

"[Job Interview] ""It says in your CV that you are quick at mathematics. What is 17 X 19?"" ""36"" ""That's not even close"" ""But it was quick"""

"""God"" not mentioned in Democratic platform means they don't worship God. ""Money"" mentioned eleven times in Republican platform."

"kid theres no such thing as bad publicity. like you would think if a big article came out saying you suck shit it would be bad, but its good"

"If women could change one thing about the penis it would be the man."

"""I like to get off on the right foot."" ""Wow. That's a VERY specific fetish."""

"What If Google was a lesbian There will be more women empowerment :)"

"Alcohol is like liquid Photoshop for real life."

"What's green and smells like bacon? Kermit's finger"