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Joke of the Day

"What department store is named after the things jews hate the most and love the most? JC Penney. ^I'm ^^going ^^^to ^^^^hell."

"What is the difference between a feminist and a hockey player? A hockey player showers after three periods!^I^will^see^myself^out^now"

"My wife decided to adopt a dog from the shelter So now I have to come home to a raging bitch and a poodle."

"Baby, are you today's date? Because you're 11/10."

"My grandpa once told me... If you want a girl to accept your proposal, you have to spend 2 months salary on a ring. I asked him, what the hell is a salary?"

"My doctor says I'm not eating a balanced diet...that's absurd. I eat as many cookies with my left hand as I do with my right!"

"You can't spell ""ducking"" without ""autocorrect"""

"Happy April Fools Day! April Fools it's March 31st."

"I was wrestling with an Anaconda for 3 days... And then I realised I was masturbating"

"Why doesn't anyone care about the plot in porn? Because, nobody appreciates good friction anymore."