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Joke of the Day

"Someone stole my mood ring and I don't know how I feel about that."

"Why was the neighbor mad at the Mars rover speeding around her neighborhood? Because Curiosity killed her cat"

"How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2, but they have to be very small."

"Why didn't Zeke get that job at the KFC off the interstate? He thought they'd want to hear that back at the farm, he likes doin' chickens right also."

"What is the historical significance of Sir George Stokes? He was a seminal fluid dynamicist."

"I just spent fifteen minutes wondering how mermaids poop in case anyone out there is looking for a best friend or arch nemesis or something."

"Why did the boy take a pencil and paper to bed? He was told to draw the curtains before going to sleep."

"Whaddaya call a blind nun? A roamin' catholic."

"How much longer? Did you bring any snacks? They want $5 for M&M's! I wanna go home Is it over yet? - me watching my kids Christmas pageant"

"If Pingu started a metal band... It would be called Slipnoot"