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Joke of the Day

"I bought my girlfriend a fridge for her birthday I know its not the greatest gift, but you should've seen her face light up when she opened it."

"What do you call an illegally parked frog? Toad."

"What looks ridiculous and is often spotted on top of an asshole? Donald Trump's Hair."

"Where do football directors go when they are fed up? The bored room!"

"My Internet was out for a while so I went downstairs to talk to my mom. She seems nice."

"What do you call a woman in heaven? An Angel A crowd of women in heaven? - A host of Angels And all women in heaven? - PEACE ON EARTH!"

"I want my boyfriend to get a tattoo on his neck so I won't have to worry about him getting a job and not having time to hang out with me."

"In honor of today, ""Knock Knock..."" Whose there? 9-11. 9-11 who? YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET!!! :("

"Just bought gas for $1.32/gallon. Don't own a car but couldn't pass up the bargain."

"Obviously we have our own shitty lives to worry about now but it would be fun to all move into a Twitter nursing home in 50 years."