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Joke of the Day

"What's the best thing about a swimming pool bar? There's never a line for the bathroom."

"Why don't taxi drivers talk to each other? They already know everything."

"My girlfriend yelled at me today saying, ""You weren't even listening just now, were you?!"" I thought, ""Man, what a weird way to start a conversation."""

"Just used the holiday card with your kid's face on it to scoop up a dog turd in the living room."

"Killing mosquitoes by smashing them in mid-air as they fly by is so satisfying until you accidentally hit a person in the head."

"Why was the pirate arrested for polygamy? He kept on and on about his mateys."

"She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction."

"Q: How many republicans does it take to raise your taxes? A: None. The democrats do that."

"Warning: Dad Joke But it's a classic. Grasshopper walks into a bar and sits. Bartender says, ""Hey, we got a drink named after you."". Grasshopper says, ""Wow. You got a drink named Kevin?""."

"Who's paying for Trump's wall? EveryJuan"