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Joke of the Day

"Sorry, can't. I looked away while my child was in the middle of an hour long run-on story and now he has to start all over."

"My neighbor is a veterinarian I can never tell whether he's talking about putting an animal to sleep or the ""youth in Asia."""

"CIA 'Mistakenly' destroys copy of 6,700-page US torture report A CIA spokesperson commented, ""We meant to destroy the 6,700-page US espionage report"""

"Why do white girls group in odd numbers? because they *can't even.*"

"Why are men like blenders? You need one, but you're not quite sure why."

"Why do pirates take so long to learn the alphabet? Because they often spend years at C EDIT: made it more punny"

"Mom: I called you bc I was watching a TV show & thought of you! Me: Ya? What show? My Mom (laughing): A show about Aliens! Very funny Mom!"

"Christmas in Latvia Is Christmas man have present! He open, find rotten potato. Wife die of malnutrition night that."

"Why are you walking like that? ""Number one, I crashed my bike yesterday morning, and number two "" edit: grammar fix"

"Why did the spud lover set his alarm for 8:00? Because he wanted to get a-po-ta-to clock. **EDITED** to make joke more apparent"