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Joke of the Day

"When I woke up this morning I was like, ""I really can't stay"" but my bed was like, ""Baby, it's cold outside."""

"The wike asks his husband: Honey, what do you prefer? A beautiful woman or an intelligent woman? Neither one, you know I just like you"

"How do you know Santa Claus is married? He only comes once a year."

"I got into lucid dreaming recently its everything I imagined it to be."

"Reflections on this mirror appear uglier than they really are because of the erroneous standards of beauty set by our judgemental society."

"Why does the Dalai Lama go to the bookies everyday? Because he likes Tibet."

"Who is the dogs favourite comedian ? Growlcho Marx !"

"[after moving into a haunted house] *setting up potters wheel* OH NO WHO WILL HELP ME LEARN POTTERY *sitting in silence for 40mins*"

"One liner I thought of and giggled at the other day A wise man once said, ""Love is all you need. And Kevlar."" I made up that last part."

"I got so drunk last night i blew chunks! Chunks is my dogs name."