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Joke of the Day

"If you have 3 tweets in a row that say what you're cooking, what song you're listening to, and what your mood is... just go back to Facebook."

Next Joke
 
"[loud crashes] Me: What was that? 4-year-old: Nothing. Me: 4: Me: OK. Parenting is easier than it looks."
"What is the microbe's favorite country singer? (Original) Amoeba Mcentire"
"INTERVIEWER: Says here you do magic tricks? ME: *hands him back his business card* Is this your card? INTERVIEWER: holy shit"
"Where does poor spaghetti live? The spaghetto"
"What does it take to have a Beatles reunion? 2 more bullets"
"What is Satan's favorite headset? S810."
"the kidz bop version of gangnam style plays 24hrs a day in hell. do you accept jesus christ as your lord and saviour?"
"Why did the geologist quit his job? His boss always took him for granite."
"Roses are dead, violets are dead, ... I'm a bad gardener"