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Joke of the Day

"Confucius say, ""woman with dress up run faster than man with pants down."" It's true. Do the math."

"The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing."

"Me: I love you..Marry Me! Burrito: I'm a Burrito..stop drinking."

"HR: Did you call an employee stupid? Me: No, I asked if he knew he was stupid."

"Going to war is the only way Americans can learn geography."

"How many Deadheads (Grateful Dead fans) does it take to change a lightbulb? No one knows, they wait for it to burn out and follow it around for twenty years."

"Momma bird: welcome to the world! Baby bird: thx! M: for the next few months instead of food, I'ma just throw up in your mouth. B: wait what"

"I haven't talked to my girlfriend for the last couple days because of my addiction to this new game. I think The Division is really starting to get to her."

"How do you catch a polar bear? Cut a hole in the ice and line the edge with peas. When the polar bear comes to take a pea, kick him in the ice hole."

"Why did the medieval Indian go to the doctor? He was feeling a bit Sikh"