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Joke of the Day

"If you come up to my bedroom door and find a sock on the knob it means I'm having sex. Probably with the other sock."

"In Soviet Russia, Russia Soviet."

"A couple are having trouble with their marriage... Wife: We used to have something special Jon! Something rare and precious! What happened to that? Husband: You spent it all dear."

"I couldn't figure out how my seatbelt worked. But then it clicked."

"Veggietales is making a version of 50 Shades of Grey... It's called ""The Artichoke Hearts""."

"How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?"

"Assuming makes an ass out of u and Ming, the thai food delivery boy who you assumed was from Thailand but is actually Chinese."

"What kind of zoo has no animals except for a small, yappy dog? A shih tzu"

"If they somehow magically ever discover another part of the reproductive system, they should name it after Prince"

"The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself ""This changes everything""."