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Joke of the Day

"Where do animals go when their Tails fall off? The Retail store"

"How do you have sex with a male corpse You cant. His penis wont get hard."

"Online dates are like recipes... they never look like the picture."

"I had to break it off with my girlfriend. She wouldn't fake orgasms. I can't be with someone who doesn't care about my needs."

"Where did the amino acid go to church? The cysteine chapel."

"I was the Wikipedia of my school. People expected me to help with their homework, but completely ignored my constant requests for money."

"Very little scares me. So does very big."

"CNN: President Obama Rescues a Child From a Burning Home FOX: Failed President Obama Tries To Take Jobs Away From Hard Working Firefighters"

"What are terrorists taught in math class? Jihadmetry. What do they learn about? ISISciles triangles."

"Well well well... looks like someone put on some weight again. ~ my pants right now"