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Joke of the Day
"What kind of tea does a house drink? Propertea"
Next Joke
"Me: my fitbit broke Sales Guy: how Me: i put it on my dog's tail and asked him who's a good boy Sales Guy: if i give you a new one can i see"
"Why did the Polish man think his wife was plotting to murder him? He found a bottle of polish remover on her dresser"
"The new football stadium can hold more than 66,000 fans... Sounds pretty cold and windy to me."
"Why is Ariana Grande called Ariana Grande? She is only 5 feet tall. Shouldn't she be called Ariana Petite?"
"Why can't America play chess? Because it's missing two towers."
"Why I hated my trip to Canada It was a nice country, but as soon as I saw the flag is just wanted to *leaf*"
"{At funeral} *holding widows hand* I'm sorry for your loss. He had so much updog ""What's updog?"" *pats her hand* Not much what's up with you"
"Not only is my new thesaurus terrible... It's also terrible"
"Why did Cruz pick Carly Fiorina as his running mate? To lay off his campaign staff."