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Joke of the Day

"I was walking in the desert and saw a redwood tree. I knew this must be a mirage, so I ran into it. To my dismay, the tree and I collided. I guess it must have been an obstacle illusion."

"Mission Impossible Six announced. Will be their hardest mission yet... Getting a job in this economy."

"Without a doubt, my favourite Robin Williams movie is... ...Mrs Fire."

"What is a duck's favorite drug? Quack (Sorry for wasting your time)"

"It's cute that the NRA thinks guns could defend you from a government that has a high fructose corn syrup nozzle up every citizens' asshole."

"A photon walks into a hotel. The desk clerk says, ""Welcome to our hotel. You look down."" The photon says, ""You can see that, yes."""

"Why did the French fry call the police? Because it was a(salt)ted."

"Helped my son flush his betta fish today. He asked ""Dad, does God love bettas?"" & I said ""Dunno, son, ask him after we flush you."""

"Save money this Halloween by utilizing last years' hobo costume to dress up as this year's federal employee."

"Do people who happily announce their pregnancy know they are going to be stuck with a baby afterwards?"