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Joke of the Day

"Save money this Halloween by utilizing last years' hobo costume to dress up as this year's federal employee."

"Did you hear the one about the baseball player murdered mid-game? He went down swinging!"

"Walk in closets Walk-In Closet Why do chinesse make such terrible Estate agents? Because non of the customers are ever comfortable with the idea of buying a house with a Hawk in the closet."

"A beautiful woman approaches a man in a bar... A beautiful woman approaches a man in a bar and says, ""hey, big boy. You single?"" He says, ""yeah! How'd you know?"" ""You're fucking ugly, for starters."""

"As a customs officer, I don't always agree with people... ...but I see where they come from."

"I'm not afraid of the Bermuda triangle or any triangle really. Even played at its most aggressive it's just not a threatening instrument."

"You know what the last thing I said last year was? One!"

"What's the smartest muscle in the human body? The anal sphincter; it can differentiate solid, liquid, and gas."

"I named my hard drive ""dat ass""... Once a month, my computer asks if I want to 'back dat ass up'."

"ATTN: I'm looking for a new girlfriend Are you: 1. Between the age of 11-69? 2. Mostly female? 3. Trained to poop outside? DM for details"