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Joke of the Day

"What the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels? John Wayne stopped killing Indians a long time ago."

"I don't understand why whiteboards don't get more recognition.. If you think about, they truly are re-markable!"

"Hubs: You didn't do anything today did you? Me: I did the dishes. Hubs: There was only one. Me: Fine I did THE dish. Happy?"

"What did Jay-Z call Beyonce after they got engaged? Fiancee."

"Eventually one of these Republican congressmen is going to find out his daughter is a woman, and then we're all set."

"My new haircut is really starting to grow on me"

"There's both a McDonald's and a blood pressure machine at our Walmart. Circle of life."

"One thing you should always look for in a woman. A pulse."

"A Wookie, a Stormtrooper, and Boba Fett walk in to a bar. They sit down and Boba Fett turns to the trooper and says, ""I think that was the first time one of you guys actually hit something."""

"Why did the turtle cross the road? ...to get to the Shell station."