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Joke of the Day

"One thing you should always look for in a woman. A pulse."

"Well well well if it isn't the kangaroo whose pouch I'm in."

"It's not Wingardium Leviosa It's Wingardium Leviosah-Dude"

"My favorite book as a child was... ...'I Fell Off Mt Everest' by Eileen Dover."

"Today a three-year-old child who I've never met before told me to shut up, and I wasn't even talking."

"My right eye wouldn't stop weeping all day until I said BE A MAN YOU FREAK and now it's just drinking beer to hide it's feelings"

"Batman's identity revealed Batman was identified as Christian Bale Sunday when he didn't show up at church..."

"What will fall on the lawn first? An autumn leaf or a Christmas catalogue?"

"If I bought 1/4 of the Viagra the spammers are offering me, I'd have a hard on for the next 400 years."

"The next time I hang out with people who start making out in front of me, I'm going to start flossing my teeth in front of them."