142745

Joke of the Day

"Do you know the difference between a strip club and an elementary school? If you dont your a sick mothafucker!!!"

"""Found"" a nest of ground bees and got stung multiple times. But I was able to remove all the stingers. So yes, my pullout game is strong."

"What's the similarity between a marriage and a tornado? At the start there's lots of sucking and blowing but in the end you lose your house."

"What does a black man and a park bench have in common Neither one can support a family of five."

"My friend's star sign was cancer, so I guess it's quite ironic how he died. He got attacked by a giant crab."

"What's the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf Hitler? Usain Bolt can finish a race."

"Boy asks Girl.... Boy: Will you marry me? *girl slaps him* Girl: What did you say? *boy gets up and and slaps her twice* Boy: If you didn't hear what I said, then why did you slap me?"

"What is a 6.9? A good thing ruined by a period."

"Sure, your carpenter could turn water into wine, Father. Now let ME tell you about a plumber who can increase his size by eating mushrooms."

"Why is it okay for an ice company to commit fraud? Their assets are already frozen!"