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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a gun and a penis If a penis goes off in you mouth it goes limp. If a gun goes off in your mouth, you do."

"Don't get mad. Get odd. Like incredibly odd. Show up in a clown suit to their work. Draw potatoes on all their mirrors. Make them be afraid."

"Blonde girl changes her name She goes to the local court for it. Girl: I am tired of people calling me Pussy Galore. Judge: What do you want to change it to? Girl: Pussy McNamara."

"Fun Date Idea: Find a balloon, forget about the date, you have a balloon now."

"How come we never see hideous fish men around any more? Dagon."

"What'd the homeless guy get for Christmas? Very hungry."

"What's the difference between a hipster and a homeless man? An Instagram account."

"A blind man walks into a bar... And hits his head."

"What's the difference between a hammer and a mallet? I don't remember the rest of the joke, but your mother's a whore."

"Did you hear the one about the old man at the doctor? Man: I can't pee, doc! Doctor: How old are you? Man: I'm 90 years old. Doctor: Oh, you've peed enough! Heard this one in a bathroom at Walmart."