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Joke of the Day

"Don't get mad. Get odd. Like incredibly odd. Show up in a clown suit to their work. Draw potatoes on all their mirrors. Make them be afraid."

"For every person pleased at meeting their TC in real life. Another 762 are climbing out of bathroom windows and smashing their phone."

"What if you had an eye in your asshole? Imagine all the shit you would see..."

"[text] ""Hey"" Hi. ""I'm just laying in bed thinking about you."" This is your mom. ""New phone who dis?"" Eric, that doesn't work. You texted me."

"Did you hear about the construction worker that got arrested? He was handling his wood in public."

"There was a guy at the basketball court He tried to make a shot in the fog. He mist."

"Q. How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled from the Garden of Eden? A. They were really put out."

"Yo mamma is so stupid she thought the fast Fourier transform was a way to complete your bachelor's degree."

"Q: Why shouldn't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she'll let it go!"

"Backstreet Boys: Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely. Me: *slow dances with cats around a pot of mac & cheese*"