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Joke of the Day

"HOLD YOUR HORSES. Love your horses. Remind your horses everyday how much you love them. Feed your horses."

"How do real partners in crime jokingly introduce themselves to people?"

"What sound does a Chinese cat make? Mao"

"Knock Knock Who's there ? Cronkite ! Cronkite who ? Cronkite evidence !"

"Local cyborg beats another cyborg to death for it's Sodium-nickle batteries, proceeds to restore his electricity supply after being arrested. He was charged with a salt."

"I hate Christmas. I work throughout the year to afford gifts, and the fat fucker with the beard gets all the credit. Still I suppose it's my fault for marrying her."

"What's better than a laxative? Reddit."

"mermaids swim by twerking do you ever just think about that"

"I was watching the WWE wrestling with my son today... ...when I finally snapped at the whole charade and blatant fakeness of it all. It's about time he was told he's adopted."

"[Oldie but goodie] The three stages of a married couple's sex life Tri weekly, try weekly and try weakly."