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Joke of the Day
"I didn't go through four years of grad school for this! (I didn't go to grad school.)"
Next Joke
"Perks of being ugly"
"There are no winners in an arm wrestling match, only Nascar fans."
"What did the dolphin say to the frog? Eeeee eeee eeeee ieeeee eeee eee. Dolphins don't talk dummy."
"What's the big deal about jesus turning water into wine? I turned MY student loans into vodka..."
"The greatest trick the devil ever played was making you feel productive when you're really just fucking around."
"Her: is the game almost over? Me: this is just the first half Her: uggghh how many more halves are there? Me: you're pretty"
"MY NEIGHBOR CAT MITZI JUST LET ME PET HER FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 2 YRS NOTHING ELSE MATTERS RIGHT NOW ONLY MITZI & I EXIST"
"Not saying obamacare is perfect but the data doesn't lie. With Obamacare there've been zero Hitlers. Before obamacare there was at least one"
"How to create a clean joke Step 1. Find a dirty joke Step 2. Clean it"