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Joke of the Day
"I didn't go through four years of grad school for this! (I didn't go to grad school.)"
Next Joke
"What do you get for stealing a slut's vegetables? Herpeas."
"Hey girl are your parents retarded? Because you're special."
"My dad told me this one: What do you call a room full of 50 lesbians and 50 nuns? 100 people who don't do dick."
"I don't like to think before I speak. I like to be just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth."
"I've requested to be buried in a spring loaded casket filled with confetti so that a future archeologist will have one awesome day at work."
"Taking viagra for my sunburn. Doesn't cure it but it keeps the sheets off of my legs at night!"
"God lets you know where you stand with him by how tangled your headphones get."
"What do you call it when your water breaks and you can't get ahold of the midwife? A midwife crisis."
"Why were the ants dancing on top of the jar of jam? It said ""twist to open"""