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Joke of the Day

"Shoutout to the dozens of people still trying to make Google+ a thing!"

"I'm amazed how long I will watch a stupid infomercial, because I don't feel like reaching for the remote."

"Did you hear about the doctor who fell into a well? He should have been attending to the sick and left the well alone."

"I made this status nice and short so you can just move onto the next one."

"I was up all night wondering, if you get fired at the Unemployment Office, do you just switch to the other side of the desk?"

"Why can't anybody satisfy a woman completely? Question: ""why can't anybody satisfy a woman completely?"" answer: ""because nobody has a dick made of gold, decorated with diamonds and ejaculates cash"""

"Do you know why there's no casinos in Africa? Because there's too many CHEETAHS!"

"I went in HMV earlier and asked the guy behind the counter if they had any Run DMC records. ""Walk this way,"" he replied."

"Why did Bill Clinton cross the road? Because his dick was stuck in the chicken."

"me *sees wife's cheesecake* future me [sent here to warn me what would happen if I ate it] *knocks on the front door* me *already eating it*"