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Joke of the Day
"I made this status nice and short so you can just move onto the next one."
Next Joke
"[At the coroners' to identify a body] Me: ""Yep. That's a body all right."""
"Instead of just answering the phone when it rings, I prefer to wonder why the hell someone's calling me and glare at it until it goes away."
"My Grandfather I'll never forget my grandfather's last words.. ""Are you sure you're holding the fucking ladder?"""
"If you don't know what a prefix is, don't worry. It's not the end of the word."
"I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you."
"What do you call a Mexican who can see into the future? Cristobal"
"My girlfriend just texted me this: Babe,myspacebarisbroken.IneedanalternativeASAP! Anybody know what 'ternative' means?"
"So... A three legged dog walks into a bar and says ""I'm looking for the man who shot my pa""."
"How are tornadoes and marriage alike? They both begin with a lot of sucking and blowing, and in the end you lose your house."