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Joke of the Day

"My friend asked me if I purposely used wordplay in my sentences. I answered ''Nope. Unintended.''"

"My mom passed earlier today. It's sad of course, but I know one day she'll stop and say ""Hi."""

"Why do meth addicts prefer to do it doggy style? So they can both look out the window."

"How long does it take for an African mom to shit? 9 months..."

"Why was there semen on the clean laundry? When Greg woke up, his mom had left a note reading, ""Please put a load in the washer"""

"From now on when skinny girls say they're fat I'm just gonna be like, ""Yup"" & walk away."

"Him: What? You said I could tie you up and do anything I want. Me: WELL WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? Him: Fishing"

"When auto correct changes your 'omg' to OMG, alright calm your tits i wasn't that shocked."

"If you don't already know your Miranda rights from watching TV and movies, you're kind of an idiot."

"I put off things I don't want to do until tomorrow because a small part of me is like ""Well maybe I'll be dead by then"""