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Joke of the Day

"Why was there semen on the clean laundry? When Greg woke up, his mom had left a note reading, ""Please put a load in the washer"""

"In 2009 we lost Michael Jackson. Now we lost Neil Armstrong. We are running out of moon walkers"

"If Thor is a woman, what's next? Woman doctors? Woman lawyers? Woman mothers? When will it end?"

"GOOD COP: Three robberies in the same neighborhood ...do you know what I'm thinking? PSYCHIC COP: Yes GOOD COP: Oh right"

"Remember when parents said ""I'll give you something to cry about"" & were scared they'd hit us but they destroyed the housing market instead?"

"When I go to the movies alone, I take a clipboard so everyone thinks I'm a professional movie reviewer and not an awkward friendless loner."

"Why did the semen cross the road? I put on the wrong sock this morning."

"What is Donald Trump's favorite flavor of ice cream? Definitely not Chocolate"

"I promised myself to stop jacking off to porn... It's gonna be hard for the next couple weeks."

"Is it solipsistic in here? or is it just me?"