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Joke of the Day

"A Jew, a mathematician and an Irishman enter a bar Bartender says: ""How did you all land up in the wrong joke?"""

"""Errors in pronunciation eventually become part of the language if used widely enough over a long period of time"" linguists, supposably"

"Who doesn't eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey because it is always stuffed."

"long-term plan is to let my debt build into the millions and when I die have a golden tombstone that says COME COLLECT IT IN HELL, TAX MAN"

"My drug dealer is so funny Always cracks me up"

"According to tinder, every guy is at a lake holding a fish & every girl is on top of a mountain & that's why it's so tragically hard to meet"

"For tax purposes, my carpe is now per diem."

"Don't save a spot for someone who won't make an effort to stay."

"JESUS: hey check this oute [turns my water into wine] ME: woa!! thanks jesus JESUS: [grabs wine out of my hands] NO!! THIS IS MY BLOOD NOW"

"I told my doctor that I keep getting embarrassing erections. He said, ""It's OK. Just think of your grandma."" As I sat there with my cock in my hand, I said, ""Then what?"""