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Joke of the Day

"Number one handheld A recent survey indicated that smartphone is the number 1 handheld device.. Penis has slipped to number 2.."

"I bought a muzzle for my pet duck. Nothing flashy, but it fits the bill."

"Why do vampires hate arguments? Because they make themselves cross."

"What do cows do for fun? They go to the mooooo-vies."

"While sitting on the beach, 16 told me he is going to go under the pier with his girlfriend and catch crabs. They grow up so fast."

"Whenever a character in a book praises the cleverness of another character's idea, it's really just the author praising their own idea."

"What did Mike Tyson say to Vincent Van Gogh? You gonna eat that?"

"I want to create something so good that everyone hates it a week later."

"Psychoanalysis is nothing sinister There's really nothing to be afreud of."

"RT = Retweet. PR = Paraphrased tweet. MR = Mangled tweet. Please know which one you are doing and use accordingly."