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Joke of the Day

"A surrealist entered an Indian market. It felt very bazaar."

"[throws a dart at map of the world] One day, I'm gonna go over there & pull that dart out. The next time I wanna play darts, probably."

"-""I hear the Israeli PM isn't too worried about that latest hack because.."" -""Please don't"" -""...Benjamin's Not on Yahoo"" -""I'm leaving you"""

"Why is the space between a women's tits and hips called a waist? They could easily fit another set of tits in there."

"I went to an Indian restaurant and ordered a Pelican curry... ...it wasn't a bad meal, but the bill was enormous."

"What do you call a flat-breasted french woman? Petits"

"I had sex with a waitress and it was terrible. She just wanted the tip."

"[apocalypse] Day 5: sickness is spreading rapidly Day 34: the streets are filled w death. There's no joy left in the world Day 69: LOL 69"

"Mama mama this bread tastes funny! STFU and eat your brick."

"You know what the difference between a drunk and an alcoholic is? A drunk doesn't have to go to all those fuckin meetings."