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Joke of the Day

"I wanna get HAMMERED tonight. Seriously? Yeah, drunk as hell, bro. Riiight. Of course, of course. *quietly slides hammer back into sleeve*"

"What do you call a group of women with small breasts An itty bitty titty committee"

"A woman participating in a survey was asked how she felt about condoms. She said, ""Depends on what's in it for me."""

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Abe ! Abe who ? Abe C D E F G H... !"

"Why am I still hearing noises from the class? Because you still have ears, teacher."

"My wife and I made a vow to never go to bed angry. I'm so fucking tired!"

"How can you tell that microchips are made in the US and not the UK? Because if they were made in the UK they would be called microcrisps."

"I love killing for fun ""Sociopath! Arrest him!"" I mean I love hunting ""Why didn't you say so my good man, want to kill together sometime?"""

"How to keep a reader in suspense? [removed]"

"Dwayne Johnson's new television show on the food network Can you cook what The Rock is smelling?"