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Joke of the Day

"The only way coffee could be any better would be if you had to suck it out of a boob."

"what if an italian guy smoked weed, he might say ""emma stone"""

"Girl, are you my brake pads and rotors? Because I'd like to grind on you until you groan loudly and I have to replace you."

"I do this thing where I suddenly become visible to people only when they need me."

"I've noticed the less open-minded someone is, the more open-mouthed they tend to be."

"Ever hear the one about the ""gay moon""? My son made this up and told it to me today. Look mom it's the ""gay moon"". Why are you calling the sun ""gay moon""? Because it is FLAAAAMINGGG!"

"What do Angels fans and gay men both have in common? They both love Pujols"

"My loose coins falls on the floor of my bedroom daily, often without my knowing. It just sits there for weeks sometimes until I pick it up. I guess you could say I have a hard time handling change."

"The guy I've been paying to pick up poop in my backyard just realized that I don't own any animals."

"One day the youngest son asks his mother, ""Mom, why do I look so different from all my siblings?"".... The mother says ""Son, from what I remember about that party, you are lucky that you don't bark""."