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Joke of the Day

"If you mix Taco Bell hot sauce into your ramen, it tastes exactly like poverty."

"I was arrested for assault with a chicken. The cops suspected foul play."

"What do Yoko Ono and African children have in common? They both survive on dead beatles (beetles)."

"A giraffe walks into a bar And says ""Hey everybody the high balls are on me!"""

"Anything u say can & will be used against u, in an argument, 10 months from now, because I'm a woman. And, we never forget. Anything. Ever."

"For the past couple of years, I have been saying that the only holidays worth celebrating are the equinoxes and the solstices. I find all of the others to be astronomically unimportant."

"A ham sandwich walks into a bar and asks for a cold one. The bartender replies, ""We don't serve food here""."

"cop: ""you kinda look like one that's all"" me: ""in no way am i a pirate"" cop: ""hmm, are you sure?"" parrot on my shoulder: ""did he stutter?"""

"How does a penguin keep itself hydrated? His waddle bottle."

"Hey, are you a broadleaved deciduous hardwood tree? BIRCH I MIGHT BE"