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Joke of the Day

"What did people start calling the medical school that allowed animals to study medicine? The hippocampus."

"*job interview* so tell me a fun fact about yourself Guy: well when I was 5 I fell into the Cincinnati Zoo gorilla exh- get the hell out"

"Everything in earthquake-prone areas should be built on top of a giant Tempurpedic mattress."

"Why does Trump hate McCain so much? He heard McCain stayed in a Hilton for 5 years."

"My mate dug a hole in the garden and filled it with water....I think he meant well."

"I said I wouldn't go drinking in public again, but here I am waiting for my kids to get out of school."

"Hacking is like gay sex... you enter a backdoor hoping there are no logs."

"What do you do if an old man asks for a helping hand? He is meaning a hand job so run away!"

"Instead of recommending more people to follow, Twitter should recommend that I shut this computer off & get on with my life"

"Is your refridgerator running? Because I would rather fucking vote for it than these candidates"