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Joke of the Day
"James May... James might..."
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"The streaker was thinking about retiring... but he decided to stick it out another year."
"Why did the guy stick guano up his butt? Cause he was batshit crazy"
"You've reached the Suicide Hotline. If you're clinically depressed, press 1. If you sent a tweet with a typo in it, press 2."
"Q: How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Actually agents will screw in just about anything."
"Mugger: Gimme yer wallet & don't do nuthin dumb Me: That's a double negative, my friend. Unlike Romance languages, English - hey, come back"
"Tomorrow I'll go to the orphanage... ... and beat up some children. I mean, what would they do? Tell their parents?"
"Ever noticed how fast people walk across the road when you don't apply the brakes"
"[hails Satan] [Satan pulls up in his cab]"
"I usually like to go fishing... Just for the halibut"