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Joke of the Day

"*Walks into school* Simon says give me your Pokemon cards Ok now close your eyes *Walks out* Kids are so dumb I didn't even say Simon says"

"The guy who invented predictive text died last night... his funfair is next monkey"

"Me: I wonder what the wicked witch's name is. 7: Ding Dong. Me: What? 7: The song says, Ding Dong the Witch is dead. Me: Oh. My. God. "

"Did you hear about the latest innovation in french tanks? Rear view mirrors so they can see the battles going on."

"So I guess these Brazillian jokes aren't happening Neymar?"

"Campbell's Soup annual business meeting Current products are selling fine...See everyone next year."

"[watching porn] This is crazy! He delivered that pizza like half an hour ago. *cups hands over mouth* IT'S GETTING COLD! IT'S GETTING COLD!"

"What do Tim Cook and the iPhone 6 Plus have in common? They both made the news for not being straight."

"What is ""The Fonz's"" favorite breakfast? Eeeeeeeeeeggs"

"If you were a triangle youd be acute one."