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Joke of the Day

"I used to have to read my kids a bedtime story every single night until I started randomly killing off characters to amuse myself."

"What do you call the object Attila the Hun uses to brush his leg hair? A Hun knee comb."

"what's the difference between a girl in a church and a girl in a bathtub? The girl in church has hope in her soul whilst the girl in the bathtub has..."

"I took an 8 hour class on door-making... Don't knock it till you try it"

"Why can't ovaries sail a boat? Because they are not sea-men."

"What happens when you cross a snowman and a vampire? You get a frostbite."

"How many vegan people does it take to change a lightbulb? One vegan, I am vegan, it was me - the vegan, I was the only vegan, it was me."

"Why do ISIS fighters only drink instant coffee? Because they hate the French Press. (This joke used to be more topical)"

"what did the cemetery dude say when he buried the wrong guy? i made a grave mistake"

"To get to the other side. Why did the tachyon cross the road?"