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Joke of the Day

"Q: How does Bill keep Gennifer Flowers away from the White House? A: He keeps offering to send Ted Kennedy over to give her a ride."

"My 8 yr old just asked me how the first microchip was built at the exact time I was wondering what other animals got sweaty armpits."

"What is the difference between a poor marksman and a constipated owl? One can shoot but can't hit and the other one can hoot but can't shit."

"I don't believe Prince Andrew paid for an underage sex slave. That sponger's never paid for anything in his life."

"""Is this a card?"" -the vague street magician"

"Life is like a box of chocolates It doesn't last long for fat people"

"What is so ironic about Atheists? A: they're always talking about God."

"Don't go to zombie nightclubs... They're always dead."

"I'm texting nothing but ugly girls from now on. They text back so fast!"

"A trucker cheated to win a poker tournament... It was a big rig."