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Joke of the Day

"Life is like a penis... Life is like a penis - simple, relaxed and hanging free... It's women who make it hard!"

"I Opened A Shelter Called ""Tempura House"" It's for lightly battered women."

"My main goal in life is to become a cooking show judge Mostly because I like to criticize people while I eat"

"You haven't experienced awkward until you try to tickle someone who isn't ticklish."

"Moses parts the Hi-C... ...To save the juice"

"Usain Bolt's Girlfriend She pulled a fast one!"

"Your password must contain an upper and lower case letter, two numbers and a bunch of symbols that look like comic strip swearing."

"*crawls up from backseat* *slowly pulls off paper bag from head* What? No... I'm not embarrassed by your driving"

"(alternate) My wife asked me why I carry a gun around the house To kill the hallucinations I said She laughed. I laughed The toaster laughed I shot the dog"

"How do you know the high heel was invented by men? Who else invents things?"